Whether consciously or subconsciously, the accumulation of every decision you made in life led you to this page.
You may choose to believe that Google got you here, or that you were referred by someone else, but in the end, it was you who clicked the mouse and decided to continue reading.
Nothing that happens in your life is by chance.
Everything that happens to you is the result of a decision you made (consciously or subconsciously).
When you accept and take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life you become powerful beyond measure. But in order to do this, you need to understand that whatever you are experiencing right now, like it or not, it’s all you.
Whether you’re rich or poor, have a job or are unemployed, famous or shy, own a home or homeless, it’s all your fault.
Right now many people are blaming the Coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic for having lost their jobs, but did it ever occur to you that it was you who started working there in the first place?
There are people who still have jobs, so obviously your decision to start working at that particular company was what eventually led to your unemployment.
It’s time to stop blaming outside forces for the results that you’re getting out of life and start taking full responsibility for your actions.
Understanding why everything that happens to you is your fault
Yogi Berra once said “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
Truth is, he knew the bat had nothing to do with his inability to hit a pitch. He changed bats as a way to trick his mind into believing that he had a better chance and sometimes it worked, while other times he continued to slump.
The accident
About fifteen years ago I had an accident where my life flashed in front of me. I survived unscathed, but to this day it was the closest to feeling dead that I have ever experienced.
It all started on a snowy day. The snow was bad and there was ice on the roads so I called into work and took the day off.
I decided to visit my girlfriend who lived about 25 minutes away and took the backroads to avoid traffic.
On my way back I decided to take the highway since it had been salted and the snow had been cleared out (none of which had been done on the backroads).
The speed limit was 65 mph, but I was going about 60 and everyone was blowing past me.
I called a friend and talked for about five minutes while stepping on the gas a bit. A few minutes after putting the phone down I lost complete control of my truck and spun around two or three times.
I know this all happened in a matter of seconds, but it seemed like time completely stopped as I was spinning uncontrollably.
My entire life flashed in front of me and I felt an emptiness that I hope to never experience again. I knew that I had a lot more that I wanted to do with my life but in that moment I felt like I had zero control over it.
It’s funny now, but I became a saint. I wasn’t particularly religious at that time but I asked God to save me and that I would never do anything wrong if he did.
Somehow I thought I could become the perfect citizen if I was spared and spared I was.
The guard railing on the side of the road prevented me from going down a huge slope which I was fully aware of and saw up close as my truck hit the railing so hard that it went on two wheels for a moment.
Did I believe this was my fault at the time?
No, I did not.
Some people like to call it fate, others call it destiny, at the time I simply called it “why me?”
I was in college and paying for it out of my own pocket. I had a good job, great girlfriend, no enemies, yet for the first time since moving out on my own I felt shame because I couldn’t take care of myself.
I wasn’t hurt in the accident, but I didn’t have enough money to fix the truck and without it, I was going to lose my job and probably miss classes as well (Oklahoma didn’t have the best public transportation system at the time).
Might be hard for some to understand but I was ashamed to need help from my parents to get out of this problem.
They have always been supportive and wanted to help with college expenses but I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I could make it on my own and to that point I was doing a great job.
Long story short, they sent me the money and I was back on the roads four days later.
It took me a while to take responsibility for that day, but once I was able to do so, it felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders.
I replayed that day in my head over and over. I could have taken the backroads going back just as I had done so many other times.
But who is to say that I wouldn’t have had an accident either way? I don’t know, but I am certain that it was me who made the decision that led to that accident.
The shooting
Another incident I was part of happened back in the Dominican Republic.
I was leaving a club around 2am and saw someone get shot right in front of me.
After the first shot was fired, everyone started running but for whatever reason, I wanted to see where the shots were coming from before turning my back.
As I looked around, I noticed that there were two guys about ten yards away from me shooting at one another.
They weren’t shooting in my direction so I just stood there and watched what seemed like a scene from a wild wild west movie.
Finally, one guy hit his target and ran away. Security came to check on the wounded individual and I left the scene along with the other people that I was with.
I have absolutely no idea what kept me from running, but all I could think of that night was what if I had been shot?
Today, I know that it would have been my fault.
You might be saying but Miguel, you didn’t even know those guys.
However, it was my decision to go out and have a good time with my friends.
didn’t force me to go out, nor did they force me to leave the club at the time that we did.
Had I been shot that day, it would have been my fault.
Just like it’s your fault that you’re in the place that you are right now in life.
Your decisions lead to your results
Every decision that you’ve made in your life up to this point has gotten you to where you are now.
If you aren’t happy with where you are, you must start making different decisions.
Outside of certain genetic illnesses, everything that happens in your life is your fault.
Stop blaming your parents, friends, coworkers, and other outside forces for your problems.
It’s all your fault.
The reason why you are sitting in front of your computer reading this article is because of you.
The reason why your life sucks is because of you.
Yes, some people have a tougher upbringing than others and that has a big influence on the decisions they make, but it’s still their fault for not crawling their way out of a tough situation.
Watch the movie “The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind.”
It’s a true story about William Kamkwamba, a young boy from Malawi whose parents couldn’t even afford for him to go to school.
They barely had enough to eat, yet he somehow found a way to crush every barrier put his way and created a wind turbine to create electricity.
He didn’t know shit about science. His dad thought he was out of his mind and would put him to work the fields in order to help put food on the table.
Yet, he was able to live his dream of creating electricity for his village.
You might think that you have it hard and that everything that happens to you is out of your control, but you better wake up before it’s too late.
Everything that happens to you is your fault and just like Kamkawamba and others in tough situations have taken life by the horns so can you.
Take responsibility for the good and bad in your life and decide how YOU wish to live your life.
Create habits that align with the way you want to live your life and remove everything that impeeds you from creating those habits.
If you want to travel the world, find people that are doing it or have done it and learn from them.
If you want to become an actor, don’t come here for that. Go out there and learn from other actors and create the habits that can get you on the big screen.
How to rewire your brain
If you haven’t taken full responsibility for everything in your life do so right now. Whether you like it or not, It’s all your fault.
So now the question becomes “how can I get what I want from life?”
The simple answer is by taking full responsibility for your actions and acting like the person you want to be.
If you do that, nothing can stop you.
All this BS about simply having to visualize the things you want in order for them to come true is utter crap.
Visualization is an awesome tool and plays a big role in getting you the things that you want, but try sitting at home visualizing everything you want without getting off the couch and putting in the effort and see what you get.
You must rewire your brain to create new habits in order to create new results.
Look, I can go all scientific on you and speak to you about the billions of nerve cells (neurons) in your brain but that’s not what this article is about.
If you want to learn about how the brain works go here.
What I want you to know is that you have the ability to rewire your brain in order to get different results than the ones you are getting.
And the only way to do this, is by changing the way you think.
You must train your brain to see life differently. Your brain does a great job of avoiding pain and suffering.
Your brain doesn’t want you to fail, so if it doesn’t know how to do something, it’s going to do its best to avoid it.
That’s why most people stay stuck and feel like there’s nothing they can do to change that.
The average adult makes 35,000 decisions in a day. Most of which are done on autopilot.
You’d be lucky to remember just twenty decisions that you made yesterday and that’s normal.
But as you all know, the decisions we make have consequences. So if most of them are made on autopilot how can we take control of our lives?
The answer is simple… pay attention.
Most days you wake up and go through the same daily routine.
The only thing that you might do consciously is choosing the clothes that you’ll wear that day, but if its a uniform you probably don’t even think about that.
From there, you follow some form of routine until you’re back home probably doing the same stuff you did the day before.
The key to rewiring your brain is to change your daily routines.
If you wake up earlier for a week, your brain will create new connections to make that part of your new routine.
Same goes for setting aside time to read books each day. If it’s not part of your routine, there will be push back from your brain.
However, after doing it a few times, your brain adjusts and makes it part of your norm to the point where you’ll feel that something is missing if you skip a day.
Another key ingredient in the rewiring of your brain is reframing all the negative thoughts that come your way throughout the day.
These thoughts are automatic and they are probably the main reason why you aren’t getting what you want out of life.
They can be as simple as “I can’t do it,” “I am too tired,” or as complex as “I can never become a good dancer because I don’t like this kind of music.”
You have to pay attention to all those negative thoughts and replace them with something that encourages you to keep going in the right direction.
Replace “I can’t do it” with “I know it’s going to be hard, but I know that the more I practice, the better I’ll get.”
“So and so is better than me” should become “I will do my absolute best to reach ____ level.”
You don’t have to allow yourself to be a victim even if you’ve been victimized. Being victimized is inevitable but being a victim that’s a choice. Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice.
Tom Bilyeu
Your brain is the most powerful computer on the planet and it works tirelessly to keep you from experiencing pain and failure.
To this day, you have trained it to get you to where you are this very moment.
If you aren’t happy with where you are now, it’s time to install a new software.
One that erases your old way of thinking and creates new habits that create a map that leads you directly to where you want to be in life.
No more dead ends. Your new GPS will create detours that avoid the typical roadblocks that prevented you from getting where you wanted to go in the past.
The ride will be bumpy, but you have the power to push through and rewire your brain along the way so that it knows exactly what you want at all times.
Yes, everything is your fault and it’s your responsibility to decide what you want to be at fault for.
Conclusion
Growing up, certain things are out of your control, but as an adult everything is your fault.
You must take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life in order to change your current situation.
You can’t change your life by blaming others for everything that happens to you.
It’s all your fault and you must own it.
You have the power to become the best version of yourself, not in my eyes or your parents, but through your own eyes.
But to do so, you must first take full responsibility for your actions and understand that everything that happens to you is your fault.
Useful resources
Everything that happens to you is YOUR fault!
This is a very powerful YouTube video about taking responsibility for your own actions. Click on it and watch the first five minutes of it.
No need to watch the rest. If you can understand what Tom Bilyeu talks about in the beginning, nothing will be able to stop you.
This book will teach you how to break bad habits and create new ones that are better aligned with the person you want to be.
Inner Engineering: A Yogi’s Guide to Joy by Sadhguru
I believe that in order to change we must be aware of everything around us. It’s hard to change something that you don’t understand.
This book is about fine-tuning yourself to connect with everything around you through meditation, inner peace, and awareness.
Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
The title of this book doesn’t do it justice. I picked up this book thinking that it would teach me the principles required to become a millionaire, but I found its principles to be applicable in all parts of my life.
You must desire something before acquiring it and that works for everything, not just money. It’s an old book, but everything in it is still applicable. Read it if you haven’t already.
In the end, whether you want to be rich or not, have a large family or live by yourself, the one thing we have in common is that we all want to be happy.
Learn the most important skill in life from the happiest man in the world himself.
11 Steps to Start Loving Yourself
This is an article written by yours truly. In it I show you simple things that you can do to have a better relationship with yourself.
Learning how to love yourself is one of the major pillars for creating a lifestyle worth living.
What are you doing to take control of your life?